SPIRITUAL RETREAT

so yesterday for my Developing Disciples class we were required to go to this one day retreat at the Immaculate Heart Retreat Center in LA. i have to admit, my initial thoughts of being there at 8am, were very negative. but i am really glad i went. it was awesome. this place was built in like 1870 and it has been a retreat place for Catholic priests and nuns for all that time. it was beautiful. all the court yards and arches and buildings. there was a swimming pool too, an amazing one, but i dont see it getting good use because the youngest nun there was 86 years old. She was our host and was awesome, so so funny and witty. she told me, "you have a sparkle in your eye. i dont know about you. i cant tell if its a good thing or a bad thing." i dont know what to say to that really, i mean, what do you say to a nun that tells you that?

while we were there we went through this whole planned out day, where we got to roam around this place for a bit, which this place was huge and it was kind of creepy, so many hallways and dark rooms and stairways, not a place i would feel good about walking around while its dark out. but we had group prayer,, reflection time, sung hymes, and met with our groups.

the whole day was based off this one article by Henry Nouwen called "Moving from Solitude to Community to Ministry." even know this article was relatively short, it packed a huge punch. probably one of the best things i have read in a long, long time. you can get the article from this website (http://groups.apu.edu/practicaltheo/LECTURE%20NOTES/Hernandez/Fall%2009/Solitude%20to%20Community.pdf , or this http://groups.apu.edu/practicaltheo/courses.htm its under the class and section "will hernadez, developing disciples, you can click and download it.) i would recommend reading it.

here is a section, and this hit me in the face when i read it. "So often ministry, i have wanted to do it by myself. if it didnt work, i went to others and said, "please!" searching for community to help me. if that doesnt work, maybe i would start praying. but the order that Jesus teaches us is the reverse. it begins by being with God in solitude; then it creates fellowship, a community of people with whom the mission is being lived; and finally this community goes out together to heal and proclaim good news." WOOOOOW. he is so right. the thing is too, this doesnt just go for ministry. how often do we try to do something ourselves, and when that doesnt work we go to our friends for help, and when that doesnt work, we THEN start to pray. Nouwen is completely right, we need to go to God first, then our friends, and then we are ABLE to do what we need to do. it sort of sucks because i have been doing it in reverse this whole time.

i have to admit, my solitude time with God right now is basically non existent. so i think thats why i started this blogging thing. reading the Bible, reading some good books and now this article, is the first step into becoming disciplined. it says in this article, "if we want to be disciples of Jesus, we have to live a disciplined life." his definition of discipline is "the effort to create some space in which God can act." i love that. discipline is something i need to practice in this whole solitude thing. as Nouwen says in his article, my inner life is like a banana tree filled with monkeys jumping up and down. he says we need to be in solitude with God, then that creates the community of people we need to do our mission.

"all the disciples of Jesus are called to ministry. ministry is not, first of all, something that you do... ministry is something that you have to trust." its just a good thing to leave off with. i really encourage everyone to read this. even if you are not in ministry there are some really good points and insight. i loved it and it was very helpful.

i want to leave off with a hymn that we sang on the retreat. it touched me.

Bless the LORD my soul,

and bless God's holy name.

Bless the LORD my soul,

who leads me into life.