the do's and don'ts of going into a place of eating

ok, i know this is a little off topic from what i usually right about. but going off the fact that i just had my last day working at Islands (hopefully forever) i thought it would be appropriate to list all the things i wish i could have said to the customers or i wish i could have informed them.

this should be fun:

• when you walk in the door, let the hosts say whatever they need to say before you tell them how many in your party. they are supposed to say a little line and its rude when you cut them off.
• sit down wherever the host guides you to sit. they are putting you there for a reason. do not ask to sit by "the window" because the view is of the building next door. there is no view so therefore, not important.
• they are probably sitting you there because thats where a server is stationed to work and you asking for another seat is going to throw off the whole rotation. (yes there is a rotation, they do not randomly seat people)
• when the hosts seat you, they are not your server. their job is just to seat you. i promise you can wait 2 minutes until the server comes over to order your diet coke.
• same as the hosts, the servers have a little thing they say to get started, and usually want to see how your day is going and introduce themselves. DO NOT cut them off by placing your drink order, again your diet coke can wait 30 more seconds.
• if your on your cell phone, we wont come over (at least i wont). ill wait until you are done so you can focus on ordering.
• when you are placing an order, pay attention to the server. they have 5 other tables and they want to get your order in ASAP. dont be talking to everyone because it really just leaves the server standing there feeling really awkward.
• when you order, go in order from left to right. thats how servers will put it in the computer so the food comes out that way.
• when the first round of drinks come, dont drink it up cause youre "super thirsty" and then ask for a refill before the server even leaves the table. i promise you the refill wont come for a while.
• when you do want a refill, dont hold up the glass and shake it at the server as they come in the view. thats rude.
• dont grab any person working there if you need something. they are ALL not your server. wait till your server gets there, i promise you dont need your ranch dressing that bad.
• dont get up and get your own napkins. thats rude. we will grab them for you.
• if something is wrong with your order, calm down. it wont take that long to fix it.
• also, usually its not even the servers fault. there is nothing they could do. they dont know if the burger is "really pink" inside, they were told it was the right burger so they took it out.
• if the place closes at 10 o clock, walking in at 9:55 is not cool. ya, they are "open" but the place is really closed. if you do do that, then dont stay forever. the server cant leave until you do. that just sucks.
• in all honesty, no one wants to make you your dessert. we HAVE to ask you if you want it.
• DO NOT DOUBLE THE TAX FOR THE TIP! ITS A MYTH!
• according to inflation, an average server needs to make 18% tip of each bill to keep up with inflation.
• if the bill is $17.29, do not leave a 20 and think thats a good tip. FALSE.
• dont leave a mess at the table. someone has to clean that up.

honestly there is more. soooo many more. but that's good for now. follow these rules and i promise you your dining experience will be a better one.